{ Leaving Home }

Moving day finally arrived, and though I was completely ready for it moving wise, emotional I was not prepared. We moved last weekend, and then had the beginning of this week to finish things up. It was good. I needed a few extra days in the house-to say good-bye and to be there by myself when the kids were at school to shed a few more tears alone.

This move has been so hard, much harder than I ever anticipated. At times I am not exactly sure why, I know that bigger and better things are to come. I guess it’s this in between stage that we are experiencing. It’s leaving the only place some of my kids have even known as home, and the only place all of my kids will remember as our 1st house. There are so many memories wrapped up here, at times it’s feels like if you leave the house, the memories get left behind too. That’s hard. I want to hold onto those special experiences forever…and I can-it’s just getting to that point emotionally that takes time.

The other reason that it has been a little bit difficult is watching my kids struggle a bit. They are sad to leave their friends, and the house that was here for every little thing in their life. Learning to ride bikes, lost teeth, first steps.. they all happened here. I wanted to make sure that my kids felt closure of some sort in leaving. We have been slowly preparing them for the big day by talking about it, expressing our feelings of happiness and sadness, and taking some time to help each other out when it’s just plain tough. We took a family home evening a few weeks ago to jot down some answers to some questions:

What is your favorite room in the house?

What is your best memory in this house?

What will you miss most?

If you could say one word to describe this house what would it be?

I have since lost that sheet of paper, so hopefully I can find it in the move and update their answers. What I remember most is when I asked about the one word to describe the house and Brooke said, “A good life”, then went on to say, “I mean, I am seven, and this house is seven, it’s like we are friends because we are the same age, and you know it’s been good. I’ve just had a good life here.” It was very sweet, and we all wholeheartedly agreed. It has been a very good life here.

Our last family home evening here we went to the house after school, and had a special good bye. We took one last family picture and pictures of all the kids, and then sat down on our family room floor one last time for a lesson. The kids took out their journals, each went to a different spot in the room, and we helped them write letters to the house. There were many tears shed, and fierce hugs given to each other as we said goodbye to our little house.

Here are a few of the kids letters:

Feb. 21, 2011

Dear House,

I am going to miss you. you have a big backyard. I am going to miss you so so much. You protected us from any bad thing.

Love, Erika Starbuck

Erika 6 Years

Dear 7 year old house,

Thank you for keeping us safe and holding all our things, thank you, for keeping these walls so we’ll be safe as well. Thank you for standing up strong so then we won’t be harmed by the thing that will harm us. Thank you for being a good friend to me because I’m 7 years old and so are you. Thank you.

Sincerely, Brooke

PS I like you as a friend and I love you so so much.

Brooke 7 Years

Austin and Brianna’s journal entries were too personal for them to share, but brought tears to our eyes. It was one of those moments when you realize as a parent that they get it. Years of teaching have made their way into their hearts, and I know they know the importance of home and family. And that is what we will take with us as we leave this house.

Austin 10 Years

Brianna 12 Years

Abby 4 Years

Scott 2 Years

Ryan 4 Months

The one thing I couldn’t bear to have taken down yet, was the large picture of the Savior that hung above the fireplace. It set the whole tone for the house, and I just wasn’t ready to take that down yet. The kids said their last good-byes-running through the empty house touching and kissing all the walls one last time, and Aaron and I finally took down our picture of Christ. We loaded it in the car to take to our next home where it will hang and remind us daily why we are doing all of this anyways. This house has been our home and the heart of our activities and fun, but it’s the Savior that remains at the center of our family and lives.

Good-bye house. We love you.